MOVED: Retro Roast
UPDATE 3/23/2024: They announced on March 22, 2024 that they are moving to Thornton Park in early April!
Click right to take a look around…
After parking in the back, a chalkboard-style A-frame will direct you: SEATING or ENTER. We opted for enter, passing through the threshold that had a painted wood plank above, entitling the destination “MARKET ON SOUTH.” At this point, you may feel like all you’ve been getting is mixed signals. But, as an Orlando native, allow me to reassure you that what you are in fact getting are unfamiliar transmissions, ones that Central Floridians easily synthesize. This space has housed so many greats over the years (many of which I have had the good fortune of visiting). From Valhalla to Dixie Dharma, it’s the vegan version of a Vegas residency. The ceiling is high, not vaulted but much closer to the sky. Rather than simply letting it tower over glass door merchandisers—the KOOL-IT was the only one stocked with anything (ciders, beers, sodas, and whatnot)—an imaginative sort chose to stack old, antique steamer traveling trunks on top of these temperature-controlled displays and pale wood shelving that popped against the inky olive walls. The craziest part is this closed multi-ruched, dark teal curtail in the back that encircles an area between more stacked trunks and retro TV screens, viewable by way of open window shutters.
“Wizard of Oz,” the person I was with asked.
My mind thought of Zoltar. Both I could merit, but the only real answer is hinted at by where the curtains where the ends don’t quite meet. This glimpse offers a painting of a man with a wide brimmed black hat—a portrait like that of a 17th-century, Spanish nobleman. The palm leaf fans are going, the lasered wood oval, hexagon, circle, and vintage-mic-and-then-some medallions along the main counter wall announce that Vegan Scoops, CLEAVER, RETRO ROAST, and MAIN HOUSE MARKET are operating in some capacity, and joy is desultorily mixed—with decisions to be made among too many delicious options and dashed hopes matching the dashed state of many menu items. I suspect that, for many, we might be back to that mixed signal, feeling that jamming once more. The worst thing you can do is fight it. The best thing you can do is pay your respects to the mysteries—giggle at the banana safety cone if you’d like, for comfort—and roll with it.
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Drink: Iced Cashew Milk Peppermint Mocha
“You can keep the jar,” the effortless soul (that had gotten coolly excited over cashew milk) said as she placed the drink on the pastry case glass.
Oh, it was pretty. So pretty in fact that I began spontaneously thanking her for various aspects of the drink. I didn’t want a conversation, I just really liked it all (the straw, the jar…everything) that much. As a jumping off point, here is the drink’s description: “A holiday classic topped with house whip cream, chocolate chips and candy cane bits. Available in white mocha.” At first, I didn’t pay this drink any mind. For one thing, it was crossed off in magenta dry-erase marker. For another, I don’t like peppermint. However, after finding out that they didn’t have any more cardamom rose syrup and that they’d just made a fresh batch of peppermint syrup, everything I thought about peppermint seemed to go straight out the window. I asked if I could get it regular mocha and iced—after an oh-so-fun conversation with the guy behind the counter about his cookie butter masterpiece he’d concocted, the evidence of which sat on the counter—and dove in. I was up in the air between coconut and macadamia nut milk when cashew milk was thrown into the mix by that soul I’ve already mentioned who came out of the kitchen at the perfect moment to confirm the state of the syrups. I asked.
“Definitely cashew.”
I mentioned that whipped cream would be fine because I wasn’t vegan, but she waved me off while making her way over to the decent espresso machine. Everything’s vegan. Good to know. The presentation: A+. The drink: delicious and balanced, almost absent of peppermint flavor. Peppermint can be strong. Here though, it isn’t, and if you really like the flavor (and get your drink with cashew milk, iced, and regular mocha), I’d go ahead and request an extra pump if they’ll give it. I’ve never had a menu item uncrossed off for me before...but it felt good to grab something festive, flavorful, and first after restock. Feels good.